I’m trying to hold it together. I know that everything will eventually work out, but right now everything is a mess. I want to be happy for Melissa, and I am, but it still just hurts so much. I want to enjoy today with Taylor. We have such a fun day planned and I’ve been looking forward to it for so long, but I’m just so shaken by everything that is going on that I don’t feel emotionally stable. I don’t want to break down crying in the middle of the museum. I don’t want to get that call saying we aren’t pregnant and want to hide and cry but have to keep it together. I want things to be good. I want to be able to live my life. I don’t want all of this to knock me off my feet like it’s trying to do. I just want to be happy.