Everything has just been so overwhelming lately. With Rob getting migraines every few days, Steve dying, Gus getting so sick, me getting a sinus infection, things falling apart with earning some extra money, going on the job interview, Melissa having the baby and suddenly I temporarily lose a friend, it’s just been too much lately. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I haven’t been to the gym, I haven’t been writing. I’ve been turning more towards food and avoidance and it’s really starting to frustrate me. I want to get back to taking care of myself, I want to get back to where I feel confident and self-assured, but I just don’t feel like I have any time.
And that makes me nervous because I am looking into starting working again. I don’t like feeling out-of-control and that’s what I have been feeling lately. But I think that I need to do what Lori suggested: take time-outs and be the counselor to myself. Basically, instead of letting things build inside me, I take the time to look analytically at the situations that are stressing me out and analyze them to help me process. It’s kind of like ‘laywer’-ing myself. It gives me a chance to step back and look at it from the outside and get some perspective.