I find it so strange that at a time in someone’s life when a person needs the most love that person can be being met with the harshest of judgements.
Anyone who has ever suffered from severe depression understands. You need love. You need comfort. You need desperately to talk to someone, to reach out for help because you can’t keep fighting anymore. But you don’t, because you know.
You know the friend will be extremely uncomfortable and try and change the subject, just so they don’t have to acknowledge what is truly happening. You know you’ll lose serve your nerve to go to the ER because you don’t want to be labeled as ‘the crazy girl’. When you say how you “can’t handle it anymore” your friends laugh tiredly and say “same here”, but you don’t dare use the word ‘suicidal’ because you can’t take another the person looking at you with confusion, pity, and fear in their eyes, as if you expect them to “fix it”.
Because when a person does say they are suicidal, they know you can’t fix it. They know how lost they are. But they are trying, desperately, maybe for the last time, to reach out and find love. They want someone who cares. Someone who will cry with them for their pain, not back away from their own fear.
But so often suicide is shameful. We are looked down upon for struggling. For being so human that this world hurts us. Even for being sick and needing help in a way that many don’t understand.
I have a friend (we will just call her J) and her brother recently tried to commit suicide. I praise God that he lived, but it struck me as odd that this is how she told me.
Me: got your message about your brother. What happened so that he ended up in the ICU?
J: He tried to kill himself. He is feeling very ashamed. I’m trying to keep it private.
I hate that at this time in his life–when he needs love and support more than ever–he is isolating himself from everyone by not letting them in by telling them the truth.
And that is because of the stigma of suicide.
I know that J wants to keep her brother’s situation private, and I greatly respect that. By my reasoning, none of you know her, but you can greatly help her. So if you would like to donate to her Go Fund Me account so she and her kids can visit him, please click here. If you do not agree that you should know who she is, then please don’t click the link. I just want to help my friend.