Today

There are days

Days when I laugh so hard

so hard that my cheeks hurt

Days when just existing is so wonderful

that I want to make the world laugh with me

 

But  today

Today isn’t one of those days

Today is a day when i have to force myself out of bed

When I have to force myself to eat

A day when I start 50 things and finish none of them

because

the anxiety and depression overwhelm me

until I just.

can’t.

focus.

A day where I count down every minute

 

But

 

I do eat

Because even though my brain is hurting me

I know hurting my body won’t help

I do get out of bed

I do get dressed

And tell myself that I will get through today

because no matter how hard a day it is

it will end

and when it ends

even if i hurt for the entire day

I will be thankful

 

Because

 

Because I am still here

Because even though i’m struggling, I will keep living

Because each day I am one day closer to being okay